Mar 27, 2012
The ADD and ADHD geek: a new species
A new species: the ADD/ADHD geek
If ordinary geeks are a subset of the human species, ADD and ADHD geek are a unique - perhaps even new - species of human, entirely. Do you envy your non-ADD / ADHD friends who just love their smartphone with its stock ROM? Does your jaw hit the floor when you watch (with a combination of awe and disgust) a friend who's able to dash off a Google search, get a quick street view on Google maps, and who uses only one browser (say, the Chrome browser), find whatever he's looking for, and then simply close the lid of his laptop?? Does it unnerve you when someone's type with the slow intensity of a hypnotist instead of rage and fury of a rock star?
But of course. Welcome to daily life in the ADD / ADHD brain.
While our "regular" geek friends seem to have it all together, we ADD / ADHD geeks are on a never-ending quest to find the perfect app or gadget that will, once and for all, organize us so that we can get on with the business of life. And we spend hours - days - pursuing this golden fleece. We download new ROMs and apps for our smartphones, troll the web in search of new cloud apps that promise Einsteinium synchronicity. We seek solace in the ubiquity of possibility but are all too often left in a world of chaotic imperfections. To say that we're tinkerers, troubleshooters, and we're always in search of the next best thing is the understatement of everything.
And yet, as painfully as it complicates our lives, I, for one, wouldn't want to be rid of it. It gives me an edge (when I'm not stumbling over my own feet because I'm so damn tired!) that others don't have. People who know me treat me differently than they do most "others." I'm not coming from my ego when I say this stuff; I'm just citing my experiences.
So the issue is, as I see it, not how to find new ways of fitting in with the "normals," but ADD / ADHD -ers to help instruct the normals on how to deal with us. And this is what my series, A new species: the ADD / ADHD geek hopes to bring. So, if you're "one of us," please please! comment with your own stories ADD / ADHD, your awesome stories, and how-to's so that I can include them in upcoming articles.
And, if you'd like to have your very own column on this blog, hit me up. Okay, so before I go, just remember that if you're struggling with ADD / ADHD, those days are over!! (or ovah!! as we say here in Boston) We're awesome, we can't spell, and the world will learn to love us. Without us, humans would still be wondering why their knuckles are all cut up!
Maeve
May 13, 2012 @ 21:24:04
I found out about my ADHD only three days ago. I've been having trouble in various areas of my life all my life, and thought it was about time to see a psychologist about it. Last thursday, he told me I have ADHD.
The first thing I felt was relief. I had an explanation for my problems and difficulties. And then I looked into a mirror and thought 'So, this girl has ADHD...' For some reason I felt pride. Only recently I learned to accept myself for who I am, and it hasn't been until the last year that I began to get to know myself. But during that year, every time I learned something about myself, I felt good about it, proud about it. Just like this time, when I found out I have ADHD.
I'm not the typical ADHD type though. I mean, you know the stereotype: Always moving around, running, jumping, acting hyper etc. I'm not like that. Most people describe me as very calm, quiet and on the background. Still, when I told a few friends of mine, who also have ADHD, that I have it, they replied with "Yeah, it was kinda obvious!"
My hyperactivity expresses itself in being able to talk nonstop for hours, and always moving something, like swinging my leg Peg Bundy style, or fidgeting with my hair, or playing with my rings and bracelets (when I wear them), or changing my position every ten seconds... I just can't sit or stand still.
I also have concentrationproblems. Sometimes I'm all over the place, especially when there's lots of impulses to respond to. I HAVE to respond to every impuls I get. At this very moment, I'm typing this comment, while responding to friends on MSN, and looking at the TV every now and then. I look calm sitting behind my laptop, but my mind is all over the place. Then again, other times I can hyperfocus on one thing for a longer period of time. When drawing a picture, I can spend hours working on perfection. When watching a movie, people will have to call me three times before I notice them trying to draw my attention. I can get lost in analysing a problem that bothers me.
All of the problems I've had in my life are, appearantly, caused by my ADHD. I never finished school. My grades were fine, but that's only because I had great teachers and I payed attention in class (hyperfocus), so I always passed the tests. But then there's homework. I could never concentrate on my homework, so I never managed to finish papers or essays in time. In my last year, if you didn't have your homework done, you weren't allowed to take exams. So, I didn't take exams. In order to do the education I'm doing now, I took a 21+ test. It's a test for people who are older than 21 and want to do an education, but don't have a diploma. It's to test if you can handle the education. I passed, but getting on to that school wasn't exactly a piece of cake either. You see, they have a limited number of students they can take in, so you need to apply and send in your diploma (or test results in my case) before a specific date. Because I'm always all over the place, I didn't check my mail and found out about the date afterwards. I was too late to apply, so I didn't go to that school. But then a brochure fell in the mailbox, about exactly the same education I was about to apply for, but from an institution that lets you take the education at home. So I did that. Didn't work out so well though... It's taking me two years already to pass my first year. So I want to try getting into that normal school again. Unfortunately I have to start all over again, since they have a specific way of educating that you don't get with homeschooling.
I've also been bullied and cast out a lot at school. I wasn't the typical ADHD type, but I was definetely different, and not in the way that makes you popular. So kids didn't want to play with me or hang out with me. I was weird. My way of thinking was weird. No one knew how to deal with me, so they just told me to take a hike. I felt very lonely and unappreciated. Eventually I started trying to act the way everyone wanted me to act, hoping they would appreciate me again. Of course I failed. I was doomed to be an outcast. But because I always tried to be someone I thought they wanted me to be, I forgot who I was myself, and ended up in a psych ward for having an identity crisis. Eventually the psychologists there noticed that I was different than the group, and they tested me for autism because I seemed to be sort of 'absent' during therapies. They figured it wasn't autism, but they never thought of ADHD (FAIL!). When I saw the results myself, basically what I read was: You're perfectly normal, but we still want you to stay. Of course I didn't stay. If I was so normal, I didn't need to stay. So I got out, worked for 6 months, and then started an education. Art, Culture and Entertainment. I failed the first year and they sent me to this education advice platform where they could help me find the right education for me. The rest of the story you know.
I've had lots of boyfriends, fuckbuddies and one night stands. I fall in love very fast, and fall out of love again too very fast. I can't control myself. It used to be like, if I liked a guy, I would want his attention so bad, I'd take any attention he would give to me. If that meant being a booty call, I would be his booty call. My standards are higher now. I know what kind of attention I want, but I don't settle for anything less. It doesn't mean a guy has to be my boyfriend though. In fact, I like being single. But a guy has to at least be a good friend to me. If there's physical attraction next to that, and it leads to sex, then that's nice. But having sex for the sake of having sex is just not my style. There has to be some kind of connection, other than physical attraction. But of course physical attraction has to be there, I'll never have sex with someone I'm not physically attracted to.
Friendships come and go as well. Most people don't even make it past the acquaintance status. For some reason I never think of calling someone up to hang out together. However, when I'm talking to someone, be it online or when I run into them while running an errand, I get all enthousiastic about the interaction I have with that person and I'll ask to meet up, because I want to chat some more some other time. I can maintain friendships as long as I'm inspired to do so, which means when I make new friends I have to be able to see them frequently unintendedly, like because we go to school together or we're online and chat together, something like that, and eventually they'll settle in my mind and I'll think of them often enough to come up with the idea to call them up on my own. Which also means that I can ask a cute guy for his number, and then never call because my daily life distracts me. Which reminds me, I still have to call up this guy who gave me his number last week... XD
But the worst problems I have are with my parents. Especially my mother. They have high standards and I've never been able to live up to those standards. This frustrates them and it makes my mother say hurtful things to me. When this happens, I completely shut down. I'm unable to come up with anything useful to say and I can't communicate with my mother in a healthy, mature way. I'm too afraid to express my anger towards her, because the consequences are really severe to me. There's often a lot of tension at home, and usually when my mom and I get into a fight, I walk away. I can't handle her. This also affects other things I want to get done in my life. When I'm in a fight with my mother, I can't focus on my homework or other stuff that needs to be done. I need to wallow in my anger and vent about it first, and that takes a lot of time. Recently there was a training I needed to go to, but I couldn't go because I got into a huge fight with my mom and she kicked me out. She still denies she kicked me out because she doesn't want to take the blame for stuff that sometimes goes wrong due to our fights, but she did. Anyway, I was worried about having a roof over my head and until I had something arranged, I couldn't do anything else. Since stuff like this happens all the time, it's like my life gets delayed.
There's upsides though. My ADHD brain forces me to give attention to everything that occurs around me, which enables me to do several things at the same time (as long as they keep asking for my attention). I'm also very creative and innovative. I'm one of those people that are able to 'think outside the box'. I'm very cheerful and enthousiastic about a lot of things. I have this gift to see the bright side of the darkest things, so when something happens to me, I bounce back easily and pick up my life faster than others. My ability to talk nonstop for hours makes me a pleasant girl to be around for the quiet types who often don't know what to say to keep the conversation going.
Even though this 'disorder' has caused a lot of trouble in my life, I see ADHD as a blessing, not a curse. I still have to learn how to deal with it in order to actually reap the benefits of having ADHD, but once I know, I'm sure ADHD will enable me to have a wonderful life!
Tai Askey
Apr 06, 2012 @ 18:59:39
Its good as your other posts : D, thankyou for putting up.
makemyday554
Mar 27, 2012 @ 10:04:31
Wasn't that a failed venture aimed at improving the life's of Americans. An investment that wasn't even accounted for until Obama took office. You say 'toomato I say tomato' you say 'pootato
Nia
Jun 30, 2012 @ 00:27:17
He sounds like he's just being a child. Maybe his lrneniag style is different than the typical student. I don't think ADHD & meds are the answer. I get tired of that being the answer for every problem a child has. I too look forward to your answer.